Good People: 1, Douchebags: 0 (Part II)
Just when I thought I had it all behind me: this is a sequel to my earlier post (you might want to start there).
My wife just found a voicemail on her cellphone from Captain Douchebag. He stated that he was not impressed by how I handled it (really? You're not impressed by how I handled it?). Given that she's a 13 year old girl and she found my phone, I should have given her a reward (I see, now it's about about giving her a reward; when he and I talked it was clear that he expected the reward). Then he said that if I came near his place of work again he'd slit my fucking throat (verbatim).
CD, I'm really sorry you didn't get the $100 you dreamed about, but sometimes life gives you lemons. And sometimes a 13 year old girl should be allowed to do the right thing without grown-ups (I use the term loosely) thwarting them. Oh, and don't worry—if you see me around the barns at Hastings Racetrack again, you can assume I've become a flesh-eating zombie and you can feel free to shoot me.
My wife just found a voicemail on her cellphone from Captain Douchebag. He stated that he was not impressed by how I handled it (really? You're not impressed by how I handled it?). Given that she's a 13 year old girl and she found my phone, I should have given her a reward (I see, now it's about about giving her a reward; when he and I talked it was clear that he expected the reward). Then he said that if I came near his place of work again he'd slit my fucking throat (verbatim).
CD, I'm really sorry you didn't get the $100 you dreamed about, but sometimes life gives you lemons. And sometimes a 13 year old girl should be allowed to do the right thing without grown-ups (I use the term loosely) thwarting them. Oh, and don't worry—if you see me around the barns at Hastings Racetrack again, you can assume I've become a flesh-eating zombie and you can feel free to shoot me.
posted by Todd Dremver at
8:56 PM
4 Comments:
Ya think shoveling shit - literally - for a living has embittered our friend a wee bit? Maybe he sensed that you were neither a useless pathetic thwarted brain-dead loser like him, nor someone to be trifled with, and his total impotence as a human being overcame him completely, causing him to utter death threats? perhaps we should extend the hand of sympathy to this person; after all, he can hardly be held accountable for his actions under such circumstances, can he? Of course not!
Which is why I'm going to BUY that gun, travel on down to the ol' horse barns, and shoot that stupid fuck right between the eyes, then take a piss on his stupid, useless, pathetic carcass.
Cool idea, but being an embittered shit-shoveling loser is probably justice enough. As Sheila said, "You know, when guys like that are smart, they're Dick Cheney." This guy isn't even smart enough to be Joe the Plumber.
By the way, in the voicemail he referred to Cora as "my 13-year-old niece." Thanks Cletus - that's way more information than you should have given me, and I appreciate it.
It's the fucking Beverly Hillbillies, Jesus wept...yeah, you're right, being him is already punishment enough.
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