Now Read This

Having thoughts today about bumper stickers. First, a few bumper stickers I’d like to have made for my car:

“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR HURRY”

“I’M NOT GOING TO DRIVE FASTER JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE FUCKING TAILGATING ME”

“IF YOU DON’T KNOW THE RULES OF THE ROAD, CUT UP YOUR LICENSE AND GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING CAR”

The last ones may be getting a little long… Now a couple that I’d like to see on other people’s cars:

“I BRAKE FOR GREEN LIGHTS”

“CAUTION: CAN’T MAKE DECISIONS”

“BABY HELD HOSTAGE TO MY BAD DRIVING”

“GIVEN THE CHOICE BETWEEN PAUSING TWO SECONDS AND DOING SOMETHING STUPID AND DANGEROUS, WILL DO THE STUPID THING”