We Are So Smart

I was pondering the question, “What is the most important invention in the history of humankind?” My first thought was beer, but I changed my mind pretty quickly and came up with the definitive answer:

Soap.

After all, soap paved the way for a cornucopia of other inventions, like oral sex. Before soap, humans were unbearably stinky. So my vote goes to soap. Yours?

“Fucktard” (Definition of)

I went on a search for the definition of “fucktard” recently. I took a wrong turn initially and determined that a fucktard was something like a custard, but you fuck it. Then I finally found the definitive meaning:

A fucktard is one of those guys that owns a car alarm that goes “wooooo woooooo wooooooo AN! AN! AN! eeeeAH eeeeAH eeeeAH” etc. at 2 AM.

You’re welcome.