We’ll Always Have Paris

Will someone please tell her that the laws of the United States apply to celebrities too? Or am I just pulling that out of my ass?

First she’s charged with DUI—dumbass. Sit there drunk in the back of the car while a servant drives you around, Paris. Then she’s caught driving—twice—with her license suspended (due to her DUI) and is sentenced to 45 days in jail. Rich celebrities have to have a valid driver’s licence to drive? Outrage! Cue hissy fit in court, to no avail. Cry and throw tantrum—still no love; off to jail.

Three days later, miraculously out of jail! Sherriff is a fan! Lounging in luxurious Hollywood Hills home watching “news” about herself! Life is good again.

Horror! Hauled back to jail when judge discovers Sherrif’s unauthorized release and orders Paris captured and tossed back in. More crying! Tantrums still cannot sway these horrible justice-obsessed non-fans! Life to get unpleasantly simple again! Oh, the humanity.