Why the Fuck Am I Famous Again?

Imagine being Diddy. Someone designs some clothes—you put your name on them. Someone directs a video—you walk on and say a few words. Someone organizes a party—you play host. You shorten your name to “Diddy” to “simplify things,” which is probably also why your mouth never closes (simplifies the orchestration of all those mouth muscles).

But there must be those nights, those nights when you wake up in a state of confusion, wondering “Why the fuck am I famous again?” If Diddy ever needs to change his name again for the whateverth time, he should get it straight and stick with Sean WTFAIFA (pronounced “wut-fay-fa”) Combs.